Perception.

I had my recall for Shrek on Thursday and it raised some interesting points for me with regards to reflection.

After the audition I decided to use my journal to reflect on how I thought the audition had gone and how it could have improved. Here is an extract from the journal;

 'My initial performance of the material was really forced, it became all about the voice (probably because it was extremely challenging to maintain) and not about the character at all. The director looked at me like I was completely insane and then directed me on how he wanted the material. He wanted me to do much less. To be more real. I tried to do this but when you're pretending to be a squeaky voiced wooden puppet finding the truth can be difficult. I felt like he gave me an unimpressed look after I tried the material again and then seemed to be quite dismissive. I think I blew it.' (Iles, 2010)

As you can see I didn't think the audition had gone at all well. My reflection concentrated on how bad the audition went and how I hadn't managed to achieve any of the things I had wanted to achieve from the process. I didn't feel I'd made a good impression, or shown them my talent and I certainly didn't feel I'd got the job.

So what's my point? Well the next day I received a phone call from my agent saying I have to go back in next week for another audition. Stunned silence on the end of the line (and then perhaps a swear word or two). Apparently the audition hadn't gone as badly as I had thought.

It was this realisation that started me on my current train of thought. If the audition went well enough for me to be recalled again then why was my reflection on it so negative? I decided it was all to do with my perception and this was informed by much more than the event itself. I perceived that the audition panel thought I was untalented, that I had failed to impress them and that the other people there on the day were much more talented and suitable for then job than me. These perceived truths were created not just from the audition but from a whole history of events and emotions. A history that includes rejection, feelings of inadequacy, missed opportunities and ultimate disappointment.

Although I tried to to be objective, my reflection of the event was clouded by my feelings and doubts. If I think back now there are many positives from the audition. I remembered all the material, I was able to talk in an informed way about the show because of all the research I had done, I attacked the material with energy, and I made a really good attempt to adapt my performance to incorporate the wishes of the director. All these things I am aware of now because finding out I have a recall has cleared the smoke from my eyes. If I sit down and write another journal entry reflecting on the audition (something I intend to do) I am positive it will look very different and be much more balanced.

I wonder what I have learned form this? I would love to be able to say that next time I would just be more objective. Sadly I don't know if that is possible. I think these things are always very difficult to see when you are in them. At the time I wrote the first journal I believed I was being objective. Perhaps if during my journal writing I made sure I answered a set list of questions. Ones that forced me to consider positive and negative aspects of the event? Questions similar to the frameworks of Reid and Moon (I will get around to that task).

In the reflection reader Adesola (Akinleye, 2010) describes critical thinking as 'unpicking the layers of understanding and meaning behind an idea'. She goes on to talk about why she thinks 'dancers learn kinaesthetically' and she concludes that the idea for her is informed by her feelings towards herself. By critically thinking about an idea she got to the bottom of why she thought what she thought. I think this is such a good tool to cultivate. It may not change how you feel or what you think (or it may completely change it) but it will give your idea context.

If in future the idea in my mind is "That audition went horribly, they must think I'm an untalented lunatic" then I should make a concerted effort to critically think and understand why I believe that to be true. To put it into the broader context of my own history and feelings. I think that is the only way to stop being disorientated by a skewed perception of events.

Reflection IN and ON Action

I've been looking at the reader on reflection (Akinleye, 2010) and I came across Donald Schon's (Schon, 1987) idea of 'reflection-in-action' and 'reflection-on-action'. I thought the concept was very interesting so I decided to look at how I think I currently reflect, specifically in relation to my work in a performance.

I think it is firstly important to differentiate between certain types of performance. For example, I do not think I reflect the same way when I am dancing as when I am acting. I am therefore going to discuss these two types of performance separately.

When I dance I definitely reflect-in-action. I believe it would be impossible to dance well and not do so. I am constantly assessing where my weight is, what my spacing is, my speed and whether or not I am in time with the music, and my technical execution of the steps. I correct these things as I go to make sure I am giving the best possible performance. It is a conscious and deliberate process that I imagine I have progressively improved at since I started dancing at the age of 6. A specific example of this would be how I reflected during my recent Shrek audition (see my earlier bog). We danced in groups of eight and space was tight so I had to constantly assess where everyone was and adjust my position so I could still be seen by the panel but obviously continue to dance and perform at the same time. We were also asked to freestyle for two counts of eight at the end of the routine. I began trying a particular move but noticed that the person next to me was doing something more impressive so I changed what I was doing. I wanted to do something even more impressive to take the focus away from then and on to me. Again I was reflecting-in-action.

I am not sure whether I then ever go away and reflect-on-action after I have danced. Perhaps when something has gone wrong and my reflecting-in-action didn't help me correct it immediately I will assess what went wrong and how I would change it and make sure it was better next time. I would usually do this by physically repeating the movements again and again to get it into my 'muscle memory'. From the reader and the work of Howard Gardner (Gardner, 1983) I have discovered that this is called 'Kinaesthetic learning'. In circumstances like this it is more about the way something feels on my body rather than what I think about it.

Thinking about the way I reflect when dancing seemed relatively easy compared to thinking about the way I reflect when I am acting. At first glance I would say I primarily reflect-on-action in this circumstance. After a performance I will consider what was successful and what wasn't. Sometimes this will be based on my personal feelings, sometimes it will be based on the audience's reaction and sometimes it will be prompted by a comment from a director. I don't think I ever use a particular process (like journal writing) it is normally just mentally reliving the event.

With regards to reflecting-in-action whilst acting I initially thought that I could not possibly do this. After all, I've always been told that too much thought and self awareness is a sure fire way to destroy a character you are trying to create. Too much reflection in this instance would therefore surely be extremely inhibiting and have the exact opposite effect to the one intended.

After reflecting on this for a few days I have come to believe that no matter how good and actor you are there is still always a certain amount of 'awareness' whilst remaining in character. An awareness of the audience and its energy, your fellow actors and their energies, and of course your stage craft (whether you are in light, vocally projecting or other technical aspects). This type of awareness is almost instinctual when I perform. I am not sure how conscious or deliberate the process is. Can it therefore be considered reflection? Is it not just reaction?

In the reader (Akinleye, 2010) Adesola  uses the phrase 'tacit knowledge' and describes it as as a 'knowledge you can not explain in words'. She says that 'reflection-in-action touches on another part of reflective practice, engaging and recognising tacit knowledge'. Is this 'awareness' I have talked about whilst acting a form of tacit knowledge? The energy that exists between fellow performers or performers and their audiences is (just as Adesola says) unexplainable. You feed off each other, you effect each other, you have control over each other.

A question I have been asking myself is, "does becoming consciously aware of this knowledge and trying to harness it actually benefit the performer or the performance?" It could be that by deliberately tuning in to these forms of knowledge you achieve a level of performance that was previously unavailable to you. It could also be that by focusing too much on this tacit knowledge you destroy its usefulness. At the campus session we talked about how an audience's energy level has an affect on the performers and the performance. This may only be very subtle but it does happen and can be useful tool. However, if as a performer you began to deliberately try to assess the audience's reaction whilst performing it could lead you to make some very odd choices. You could perhaps over perform to compensate for what you believe to be a bad reception or you might begin to play everything for laughs because you believe the audience finds you funny. I think both of these would be detrimental to a performance.

I am still unsure of the way I feel about reflection-in-action in relation to acting. Perhaps it is connected to the way I have been trained and the things that have been said to me regarding effective characterisation. It is certainly worth further thought and I am going to consider ways that deliberately noticing and harnessing my tacit knowledge may benefit a performance. Let me know if you have any thoughts on what I've said.

New Blog Layout

Hi everyone. I decided to change the way my blog looked because I noticed a couple of other people had used the same template as me. Obviously nothing against those people but I really wanted my page to be individual and represent me, which I think this new page does. It was good to go back and try some new things out now that I am more familiar with the way blogger works. I hope you like it.

Shrek Audition

I'm in the process of auditioning for the new musical 'Shrek' and I thought I'd write a bit about the process I went through and how this course informed my decisions.

It started with a phone call from my agent about two weeks ago telling me about the audition. We were asked to provide two contrasting pop musical theatre songs. I started by looking at the songs I already had in my portfolio and deciding if any of them were suitable. As I didn't know the show very well I then decided to buy the soundtrack but when I looked on Amazon it was £18.99 which for a first audition is a little out of my price range. So I decided to YouTube the show and almost all of the soundtrack was posted on there (probably illegally but I'm not going to lose sleep). I listened to most of the songs and what I heard really had an impact on what I decided to sing. So far this is pretty much what I would usually do for an audition.

I went in and sang for the panel on Monday and it went well. I was called the following day by my agent

saying I had a recall to dance on Friday (today, and yes I am doing this to take my mind off it) and that next week I had to go in and do some cover material. This is where I started to go about things a bit differently. Normally I would probably just learn the material and leave it at that but this course is making me think about the way I do things so I decided to put a little more work in. After all I figured you can never be too prepared.

So I start by googling 'Shrek the Musical in London' and the site linked above came up. On it are a list of the creative team behind the show in London. I then decided to google them in their turn and read about the other work they have done. I decided you never know what you might be asked so its best to arm yourself with as much knowledge about the panel as possible.

Whilst googling them I came across this YouTube video of Rob Ashford (one of the directors) talking about audition technique and what he looks for when he is auditioning people. What an amazing resource this is! I can now go into the audition knowing what it is he wants to see. I know obviously lots of tips are generic but this business is very subjective so the more personal insight you can get the better.

Whilst on YouTube I noticed that someone had secretly filmed the entire show and posted it (again not very ethical I know but I want this job). So yesterday afternoon I sat down and had a virtual afternoon at the theatre. This was so rewarding because I have now seen the choreography required. I understand the style of the show and the humour in it. I've also seen the character that I'm auditioning for in action. This can obviously be dangerous because it can lead you to imitate someone instead of bringing your own self to it but in realising this I don't think I'm in danger of it.

By reflecting on the way I usually do things, deciding there was more I could do and then using some of the tools we have been talking about recently I feel I have given myself the best possible chance for this job. Of course I may still not get it but I will know that it's not for want of trying.

First Campus Session.

It's been over a week since the first campus session and I've been so busy up until now that I haven't written anything about it, but the time has come.

We were faced with the question "Do Web Based Technologies Enhance Professional Practice?" I thought the presentations that worked best on the day were the ones that managed to define what they meant by certain terms first. Within my group we discussed different definitions but concluded that the term "professional practice" has a different meaning for each person. The following definitions therefore are personal to me.

Web based technologies - sites and tools that are accessed via the Internet.
Enhance - to support and improve upon a foundation that is already in place.
Professional Practice - encompassing all aspects of my career. What I do, how I behave, how I learn and try to improve myself. It is not only about where I am now but where I hope to be. What my goals are, what my idea of success is and how I want to achieve these.

One of the things the session clarified for me was the distinction between web 1.0 and 2.0. There were a few sites that I initially believed to be web 2.0 but now realise are web 1.0 (for example Spotlight). On this site you post your professional CV and other promotional tools such as voice clips, showreels and photographs but then (other than the occasional update) it is left to serve its function. There is no interaction and the information isn't constantly evolving with others input.  Other examples of these are emails, Skype, other CV sharing sites, and traditional web pages.

Web 2.0 contains sites like Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, Wikis (such as Wikipedia) and many more. These allow for collaboration and interaction. They are never finished, and constantly evolving, Ulrich et al (2008) uses the term 'perpetual beta' to describe it, and if you want to get the most out of the site you need to continually return to it and participate.

All groups seemed to decide that the easiest way to determine if these technologies enhanced their professional practice was by drawing a list of pros and cons. If the pros out weigh the cons then the technologies could be seen to have a positive impact and vice versa. The lists below detail what I think the specific pros and cons are for my professional practice.

Pros. 

• Vast amounts of information are now accessible to assist improved learning. Sites like Google help to direct you towards the information you need to make sure your knowledge remains current within your industry.
• There are more opportunities available. Sites like Equity, Spotlight, and Casting Call Pro give detailed lists of auditions and other related jobs that previously you may not have had access to. 
• There is also increased opportunity globally. Nicholas mentioned that he got a job in Bollywood just by looking on the Internet. This idea of globalisation is assisted by the speed of contact that email and Skype give us. It is possible to now audition for someone in America on the Internet, either on a site like Skype or MSN or by emailing a showreel or audition tape. Before these technologies this process would have taken much longer (perhaps too long).
• In relation to the above point there is also the reduction in cost that these services enable. By sending electronic version of CVs, photographs and showreels you are saving on the cost of production and postage.
• It is much easier to build a reputation for yourself and market yourself (read Paula's Blog on reputation and my response). Facebook, Blogs, CV sharing sites like Linkedin, and photo sharing sites like Flickr allow you to present an image of yourself to the world.
• Relating to the previous point, there is reduced hierarchy. You have access to people who are further up the professional ladder and they have access to you. It is possible to form relationships with experienced actors, directors, producers etc. who would previously have been beyond your sphere of acquaintance.
• In relation specifically to web 2.0 there is the possibility of collaborating with large groups of people who share your interests. Discussions and interaction allow you to stretch your thinking. I think it is an ideal way to learn because we challenge each other and act as each others guides (see my blog on Constructivism). At the campus session Sandy and his group talked about communities that have always been there now having access to each other. Sites like Whatsonstage allow the theatre community to discuss productions and inform their practice.

It is worth saying now that the campus session made me think about the negative aspects of web technologies more than I ever had before. I think because I knew we would be using these technologies on this course I looked at them through rose coloured glasses. The campus session made me aware of the importance of being much more critical and cautious.

Cons. 

•  Due to there being so much information available it can be extremely difficult to find what you need. It is possible to go round and round in the same pool of information and never progress any further. Although Google does filter answers for you it has a vested interest in the answers it places at the top. Are you therefore getting all the information you need? Is there more to the picture? Is the information unbiased? Also is the information accurate? Unlike in a book there is no editor guaranteeing the accuracy of the information. O'Reilly. T. (2006) talks about the idea of 'Radical Trust' in relation to sites like Wikipedia where the information can be changed by anyone. Read Adesola's blog on Validity, it's really interesting.
• Although you have the ability to create  a strong reputation for yourself, there is also the potential for others to impact this reputation. Sites like Facebook for example have the potential to inform people's professional opinion of you so what happens if an inappropriate photo is put on there against your will, or even an inappropriate comment. Several people have mentioned the idea of having two separate profiles, one for professional contacts and one for personal. Although I'm not sure within my professional practice I have two such black and white categories it is definitely worth considering.
• Something that has concerned me and again relates to the first point on this list is the idea that all opinions are equally valid. Web technologies seem to have downgraded the role of the expert by allowing everyone's opinions whether informed or not to carry equal weight. Read Natalie's blog and my response and see what you think. There are a couple of particularly interesting quotes near the beginning by Andrew Keen and John Flintoff.

Reflecting on both the positive and negative aspects of web based technologies, as I have done over the last week, has led me to conclude that they definitely enhance my own professional practice. I am just grateful than I am now aware of the possible pitfalls. In searching for information it is so important to be aware of the validity of your source and to not give undue weight to uniformed opinions. It is also important to keep firm control over the state of your online reputation. A term that one of the groups used at the campus session that has really stuck with me was 'Personal Professional Management'. I think it ideally sums up what is needed when using these technologies in relation to your professional practice. The use of the tools can be incredibly rewarding as long as you use them in a controlled and thoughtful way.

YouTube Video.

So I've finally plucked up the courage to actually make my YouTube video. Who would have thought that making it would be such a big deal for an actor? I decided to make it very simple, just me talking, and I took my cue from Paula's video and included some of my aspirations. I am generally much more comfortable writing than talking so I am determined to get better at this throughout the course and may even keep a video diary of my thoughts.


Here is the link to my video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePCUwY3bPYU 

I decided to make the video unlisted which means only people with the link can access it. This means it doesn't appear in searches or on my channel. Perhaps when I'm more confident I'll make my videos completely public.


By the way if you want to see a video that is much more artistic then look at Joanna's.

Flickr

Hi everyone. I've finally managed to sort myself out and post some photos of me at work onto Flickr. I think it is actually a really useful resource if you want to show a back catalogue of work in a more personal way than a CV, almost like a model's portfolio. It has also been quite rewarding to look back at my work in a visual way (rather than the work we did examining our CVs). It brought back lots of memories and made me feel proud of what I've achieved. Here's the link so I hope it works 

 Mark's Professional Photos on Flickr